I wrote this post the day before we buried little Josh:
“The labor moved really slowly last night until 1:30
when Halley’s delivery started to move at a break-neck speed. By 1:42, my
strong, precious wife had delivered a little boy (this was a surprise to us)!
We named our little boy Joshua Shane Caldwell Jr. He weighed 4 pounds, 12
ounces and was 20 inches long. I will never forget getting to hold my namesake
in my arms. What a gift from God!
There is a distinct duality to the grief that my
wife and I feel. On one hand, we are elated that our little boy is safe in the
arms of the Savior. Little Josh is happier right now than the happiest person
on earth because he is in the presence of the Fountain of living water; the
Supplier of all joy. I praise God for this sweet comfort. In this regard,
I am happier that my son bypassed the strain and sorrow of life on earth to be
directly in the presence of God for eternity—what more could his earthly father
ask for?
On the other hand, I was so excited to meet my
child, to hold him, to pray for him, to be patient with him, and to see him
grow up into honorable manhood. I will just have to wait a little longer than
expected to get to know my first born son.
Little Josh, you’re earthly dad loves you deeply and
misses you, but he is so joyful that you are in the much superior care of your
Heavenly Father for eternity.
Halley and I are struggling, but we will make it
through. Thank you all for your support during this tragedy. We appreciate all
your prayers and kind words as we endure. Please don’t worry about having the ‘right’
words to say to us; just your company is enough.
God is still gracious. God
is still good. God is always sovereign. It is well with my soul.”
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